Stretched Faith

On March 26, 2017, before I was to board the plane that evening for London, I had one more thing to take care of: Finalizing the sale of my car.

The family who bought it from me, did so out of complete faith it was God's will, and trusted me about the condition of the car. I endeavored to deliver it in as best shape I could. And we agreed on a fair price for both of us, and I would hand over the car after church service that morning.

Of course, I knew that I could not keep the bulk of the money. I owed someone $2,700 for a loan during my Bible School. It was the last debt I hoped to have covered before I went into missions full-time.

However... During the service, as I listened to the pastor preach about faithfulness to God, I remembered the study the Lord had recently guided me through in regards to tithes and firstfruits, and why the Lord required them. I posted my conviction on my blog on March 4, 2017, http://kaeljo.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/please-read-all-of-this-and-do-not-stop.html and I was endeavoring to be faithful in my tithes, and I wanted to give the Lord my firstfruits in order to demonstrate that I trusted Him above my own capabilities.

Meditating on this I realized... God wanted me to tithe $300 from the sale of the car.

On top of that, I had already had a $100 tithe ready that I had yet to give from my last paychecks. That would bring the total tithe to $400! That meant, the only money I would take to England with me was what I had saved up $600! ...and with no present guarantee of anymore.

The biggest issue was that, before I could staff with YWAM Harpenden, I was required to take a special training course called the School of Ministry Development (SOMD). A brilliant course that helps prepare individuals for working in full-time ministry -but it cost $1,800, and I only had $600.

This entire trip back to England had already been an extremely stressful time for me, and I had tried to back out several times. But each time the Lord would not allow me a valid excuse.

* When I was concerned about my surgery bill from Jan 2015 ($114,460), He laid it on the hearts of the financial dept to write-off my debt 100%.

* When I wasn't sure how I could repay the $2,700 loan I owed (my job hours had dropped to 12hr a week), a friend offered to buy my car at full value, which covered the amount, with a little extra. ...And they were willing to wait for it until I no longer needed it. 

* When my two-yr UK Visa took all my saved/raised money and left nothing for even the plane ticket ...He told me to continue on as if I had it. I said goodbye to my church (and said nothing about money). The next day, the Lord laid it on the heart of a new member to send me $500. My plane ticket cost $511.

I had been through so many emotional and spiritual roller coasters these past eight months. Donations had ceased, and I had only managed to save up (from my own pocket) $600. Now, when I could have added the $400 to my saved money to pay $1,000 towards the SOMD, He tells me to give it to Him.

I sat through two church services agonizing about this tithe. ...But I knew I needed to give it. -Not just for the sake of tithing, but to show the Lord that my trust was in Him and not my bank account. So... I knew I had to submit to this. To my surprise, however, He also wanted me to tell this testimony to the pastor.

Now, understand, I love to get praise from others, but I really want to honor God according to Matthew 6, and I hesitated to tell the pastor. But in prayer, the Lord told me it wasn't about me getting praise, but in order to encourage others in their faith.

When I told the pastor, he asked me if I was sure I was really supposed to give the $400. A little voice in my head said, "This is your last chance to back out." I responded that, "There really shouldn't ever be a question of whether or not I should tithe. And I would honestly rather error on the side of giving to God rather than withholding from God."

With those words, I handed over the $400, and that night I boarded the plane to England with only $600 to pay towards the $1,800.

I posted on Facebook asking others to pray about giving, or at least to be praying for me as I had this waiting period. Within a few days, donations came in, and together with what I payed, came to $1,470. My head staff leader allowed me one more week to pay the remaining $330. This time, I just posted the update, and told the Lord He had to finish this fundraising. My nerves could barely stand the stress any longer, and I couldn't speak positively about it anymore. I honestly wasn't sure if the Lord would provide, and I really didn't want to borrow money from anyone again.

My first two days of SOMD went, and I didn't see a penny come in. That evening, at 10pm London time, I wrote in my journal my struggles, and considered that I might have been wrong to give the $400 as that would have covered the last amount that I owed. ...But then I recalled what I told the pastor, and I knew that, no matter what happened, I was not wrong to give to the Lord what is already His.

After I closed my journal I checked my email. I got a notification that I was overdrawn. At first, I couldn't fathom how that had happened! I had allowed for $50 to stay in my bank after paying SOMD fees ...but I had forgotten the bank charged money conversion fees, and those fees threw me into the negative. (And that would also mean an overdrawn fee.) I had to fight down a rising panic as I realized that I had no guarantee of how I could cover this, nor when I would see anymore money come in again!

I had been trying so hard to do what was right and honorable, and to be a good steward, and to be sure to leave money in my account... and now I was in the negative because of conversion charges! COULD I DO ANYTHING RIGHT??! I cried out to God for help.

As I had already checked earlier, I didn't expect to find anything in my fundraising accounts, but I went ahead and checked PayPal. I was completely discouraged and knew that it would still be at the $8 amount that it had been for so long.

But now it said $638! Four people had sent in donations that exceeded what I needed for the last SOMD payment. And because my bank accepted the PayPal deposits quickly, I knew that I could get the money in my bank before the conversion fees would finish processing, and therefore save me from an overdrawn fee!

I kept myself collected as I made the transfer, but very soon I couldn't keep back the tears! Oh, how my faith has been sorely stretched these past days! How quickly I allowed myself to be discouraged. Even though He's been telling me to trust Him over and over.

And this was more than just about the money, He confirmed that I was right to give the tithe -my firstfruits. I gave Him my trust even though my faith was weak, and He honored that. He even returned it to me with a little extra. I can now go to the store and buy some more laundry soap and a few other necessities.

...but of course, after I tithe from what was donated.

I don't ever want to forget to give faithfully to my Lord again! (Not just in money, but in ALL things)


“His lord said to him, Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.” -Matt 25:21