New (and Old) Beginnings

Happy New Year My Beloveds!   

    With the start of 2019 many have made those traditional 'New Year's Resolutions!' Gym's, Personal Trainers and Dietitians offer their best discounts during this time as people motivated to improve their lives sign 1-2 year contracts. For the next couple of months the number of people will pack every gym across the country and all the restaurants ensure they have plenty of salad, fat-free dressings, and high protein dishes. But by the time April comes around only the regulars, plus a few of the newly committed will still be pushing through, determined to accomplish their goals.  

    I've been one of those people so many times. I kept thinking, "This year I'll be healthy and get in shape!" "This year I'll attend church faithfully and get more involved!" "This year I'll meet someone!"

    But none of my so-called resolutions ever bore lasting fruit. Not until the year 2013. It was not a new year for the world, but it was the dawn of a new era for me. August 10, 2013. They day my mother died. The day my world completely fell, and I was left lying naked and exposed to every pain and vulnerability. Yet, One thing remained. One thing that covered my shame and brought me comfort and the will to keep moving forward. One thing that gave me hope and a future. -My faith in my Lord and Savior.

     It would be eight months later before I got on my first international flight to England, not certain where my future was heading, but willing to accept whatever came my way. For on that evening back in 2013 I had made my first true resolution. Though I had accepted Christ as my Savior as a child, and had grown in my relationship with Him through my adulthood, I had never given Him myself wholly and completely. But after that night, in my heart I was resolved that it didn't really matter what I had, or did not have, in this world. So long as I had Him, I had all I needed.

     These were some of the thoughts that I meditated on during the Christmas break. They didn't make me sad, but rather filled me with a sense of awe and wonder at how much my life has changed these past five years. In all sense, I'm actually living an impoverished life. The minimum payment for medical insurance ($350) exceeds my average monthly income. I do not own the bed I sleep in, my flatmates were once strangers, and what possessions I have accumulated while living here I live in constant preparation that I may have to relinquish them if the Lord calls me elsewhere.

      I have seen families with young children give up their homes, jobs and income to live on their faith that the Lord would provide. And then again, after years of staying in one place, and accumulating all their material needs, they relinquish everything to start over again. I have witnessed individuals forgo a latte at the cafe in order to save up those few dollars so they can save up for an upcoming mission trip.

     Priorities are so different here than I have ever known. And I've found it difficult to understand how to live this life. Not so much the financial faith-living (though it is often hard), but in understanding my own role here. I had big plans to travel to Africa since I was a little girl. England was NOT in the plans. Yet, here I have spent the last two years cooking, cleaning, serving in our cafe, taking charge and organizing our bookshop and library, helping with summer mission events and serving a community tea break every Wed. For three months I did teach ESL, and the Lord did wondrous things in that school, but I was struggling to justify myself.

      Why did I relinquish everything I owned? What was I thinking? Why sale my house and my car just to pay my debts and then live off donations? What was I doing here that I couldn't do back home?

      In short, I felt like a foolish fraud unconvinced that I was making a difference and felt ashamed to ask strangers and friends to send money to me. Why did God bring me to England? They wanted me in Mexico! I could have staffed the Bible school, helped build houses for families who lived in shacks, minister in the red light district and drug rehab. I would have so much to put in my newsletters! And I could have kept my car! I wouldn't be dependent on others for transportation. I miss my car! 😭 (Seriously! I REALLY miss my car!)

    But God knows I've always been a task-focused person, and I would have stayed buried in my work and missed out on some serious spiritual stretching. Staffing in Mexico would have been easy for me and God would have blessed me. Most of the work was already done, and I would have stagnated for a very long time. I would have missed out on something bigger than me.

    From the beginning the Lord made it clear England was a training ground, and He wasted no time in getting me started. I've stepped into leadership here, expanded my existing knowledge, learned how to cook for 100+ (and for myself again), learned how to budget and fund-raise, learn how to mentor and disciple, learn how to work in a team, develop ministry vision, utilize my previous work, marketing and managerial experience to help in a couple of areas here, learn intercessory prayer, public speaking, and how to teach...

    I've been stretched in so many areas. But while I've been learning I've also been serving. And I had to ask the Lord to forgive me for losing focus on what I'm supposed to be doing here. I took on organizing our library because I understood the need and loved books. I accepted taking charge of the bookshop and merch because I saw the need for Christian material in a community where there is no Christian store. I volunteered for small, behind the scenes, roles in the mission events simply to help out. But I made the mistake of forgetting how important the work is that I'm doing.

    In this place, here in England, we're not just running a volunteer-operated cafe open to the public. We're not just hosting a hospitality unit for guest speakers and passing visitors. We're not just hosting numerous schools  and seminars focused on discipleship, Biblical training, understanding politics and government, community development, spiritual development, church planting, finances and budgeting, communication, evangelism and hospitality.

    We're not here for the weather! 😊

    We're mission-developers. We train and send out missionaries here. We train missionaries to serve in all spheres of society at home as well as in foreign missions. We train men, women, couples, children and families how to be Christ-centered. We teach how to utilize art, sports, music, recreational activities and athletics for teaching the Gospel. We teach people how to intercede for other individuals and nations. We train people how to honor God with their living, their relationships, their finances, their education, their jobs. Regardless if they are seeking to train for ministry in a foreign nation, prepare their hearts before university, learn how to develop their business for God's Kingdom, or simply understand how to serve God in their bread-winning jobs.

    When I organize the library here, I'm making the books and research material available for all the multitude of studies here. I'm helping others to grow in their understanding of God's Word as well as in their personal development. I'm helping people struggling financially to still have access to the books they need to complete their training.

    When I organize and market the bookshop and merchandise I'm not just helping bring a income to our base ministry, which is needed, but I'm also providing trustworthy, Christian resource material to the local churches for teaching and ministering, to individuals, to athletic trainers and even to mothers who home school their children.

    When I serve a weekly tea break to the volunteers and trainees here once a week, I'm creating a warm and refreshing atmosphere where everyone can take 30 minutes to rest from their work and fellowship and encourage each other.

     I didn't create any of these ministries. I simply volunteered to take them on. But it's a toss up who's been the most blessed. ❤

    Now, I'm preparing for another lesson. As the Lord has been preparing me these past four years to get to this one step in my journey. I will staff and teach in a Bible school. And while I am teaching, I will also be a student. I will learn the necessary skills needed that will enable me to help staff a Bible school here in England. There are so many of my fellow missionaries who want to take one desperately, but their commitments and families here prevent them from being away for so long a period. It will be a blessing to both the locals as well as those who will come simply to take the course. And it will be another school to train and develop God's people for His Kingdom work.

    I couldn't do what I'm doing here anywhere else. I could be serving. I could be learning. But God pre-destined me before I was ever conceived. He has specific plans for my life and ministry. And I can choose to step into that destiny or not. I've decided to step into it. I did so the moment I got on that plane back in 2014. ....In fact, I've gotten on several planes since then. I've gotten good at packing too. 😊

    Would I go back and undo my decisions since 2014, if I could? No. To go back and erase that step would erase every step I've taken after. And I wouldn't undo all the joy, sorrow, excitement, apprehension, growth, or sadness that it has taken to get me this far. The Lord is doing a work in me and through me that I would never want to walk away from.

    That night (that seems a million years ago) I resolved to give God my all and to go and serve wherever He sent me. And every day reveals new wonders to me, showing me that everything we do, when done with the right heart and faithfulness, will always advance the Kingdom.

     My resolution made back in Aug 2013 was far beyond just motivation. It was, and is, a life-long commitment. And with that comes all the things that I can do to keep myself healthy, strong and informed. I can never stop learning nor hide from hardships and challenges.

    (To steal a quote) "I don't know what my future holds, but I know Who holds my future."

     I am resolved to follow His lead wherever He takes me and no matter how hard.

    What are you resolved to do?