God is So Good

Heads up Everyone! This is a long one, but the testimony is amazing! 

I hope you like the pictures too!!! 

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       There really is no way to describe what's in my heart. How can I describe something if I don't even understand it myself? I'm 32yrs old. I have loved the Lord almost all of my life. He's been in my heart for so long I'm not even really sure just how old I was when I first accepted Him. And I've been aware of all that He's carried me through, and all that He's forgiven. And I am aware of what He's doing in my life right now. But until CSBS I cannot ever recall having His peace in my heart. And quite frankly, it's not something you just suddenly accept in your life. Having peace in your heart takes getting used to. Especially when logic goes against it! ;)

Amazing the fun you can have with
leftover flowers from events!

      Everyone knows that I've wanted to be a missionary since I was a little girl. And everyone knows that when I came back from Discipleship Training School in England last year I was convinced the Lord had finally opened the door for me to be one. He did so much work in me last year and began so much healing. He confirmed through His Word and through others. I was ready to straight to Africa and start, but I felt strongly He wanted me to do the Chronological School of Biblical Studies(CSBS) in Mexico first. I was so sure that He was calling me to do this school and that it was for this time right now. I sent in my application before the 2015-2016 applications were even out, and I was the first student accepted. I donated the last of my belongings to my church except what fit into my three suitcases (and my car), and went to serve in Las Vegas while I waited for CSBS to begin in Sept.

My favorite study room! Complete w/ the
"Wall of Encouragement!"

       But by the time CSBS started I had paid only a small fraction of the $2,700 I owed for the first trimester. It was only after three days of praying and fasting, and the encouragement of staff leaders from my school to come 'in faith' that God would provide that I packed up my car and drove to Mexico. And from the moment I made the decision to believe it was God's will and trust Him to provide I was filled with an unfamiliar peace. From the first day I arrived I didn't fell like I was in a strange place. I felt like I was home. Two weeks in I did lose that peace... but only for a few hours before I sought counsel and prayer with one of the staff leaders. He hadn't even said 'Amen' before I realized the Lord has restored His peace back in my heart. And donations started to come in after that, and through unexpected sources. Over half my first trimester was paid with only $1,050 owed.

      But then other things started to fill my heart.

CSBS Leader teaching us Israel's
Old Testament Geography

      I started struggling with completing my homework. The intense Bible reading and studying was evoking long suppressed feelings including anger I didn't realize I was still carrying. The church yard sale I had donated my stuff to had come up also stirring feelings of doubt and regret. There was no turning back now. It was all gone. The money stopped coming in again. Maybe this isn't what God wanted me to do after all. And to top it all off the battery fried in my laptop, and it developed a hard drive problem, and I lost some of my completed homework. I confess that I've had several moments where I wanted to just give up and quit CSBS. ...But then I remembered my promise to God. So long as He allowed me to be here I wouldn't quit. So, for the past couple of weeks I prayed for the Lord to direct my heart back to Him, and I renewed my promise.

Homework done & in 5hr 25min early!

      Then, as if He had just been waiting for me to ask, He revived my spirit in an unexpected way- through a homework assignment. We had to pick five Psalms and illustrate them in artistic ways, and we had to write our own Psalm, As an artist and a poet I was excited to apply my passions to my homework. I even finished the entire assignment over 5hrs before it was due and started on the next chapter. On Monday I received an email from OCF (who handles my fundraising) that they were making a deposit into my account. I asked the Lord in my heart, "If the money that comes in covers the last of my debt I will know that I am in Your will and this is where You want me to be." Of course, I wouldn't have given up if it didn't, but it was really assurance from Him that I was needing more than the money.

My new laptop blessing!
No more lost homework!

     On Tuesday, my heart was troubled again during our Proverbs lessons. It stirred up too many personal issues I wasn't wanting to think about. At the end of it I was going to go to my room and cry. But on my way out I was told I had a package. Friends who knew about my laptop messing up had donated money instructing that it was for a new laptop fund. I had been conflicted if it was right to buy the laptop when I still owed for CSBS, but I was encouraged that it was okay if that's what the money had been donated for, and it was an actual need. Receiving the laptop this afternoon preoccupied my negative thoughts, and instead of crying I started setting up my new laptop and thanking God for His provision. Suddenly, I thought that I should check to see if my money came in. My balance was $1,077. The last of the money due for my first trimester was paid. And the tears that would have been shed in sorrow earlier came forth as tears of joy and thanksgiving.

Beloved friends from the DTS school!

      I am in my Father's will. He wants me to be here right now at this time. He is going to provide for all my needs. I don't have to worry about the money, my health, or my electronics. I only need to keep my eyes fixed on Him and minister to others in His Name and love. And as for that logic that tells me it's not right to have peace? Well, I'm learning that His peace isn't supposed to make sense all the time. Human logic and God's plans don't always go together. That's why we just have to trust Him and not our own understanding. (Prov 3:5-6).

      So, I want to thank you, all my supporters- both in financial and in prayer. The Lord is using you in ways you may not realize. For you it may be just including me in your prayers, of maybe it's a small donation you're not sure will make a difference, or maybe it's the passing on of my newsletters to others. You need to know that the prayers and gifts from your hearts are bearing fruit. You are doing much more than just providing for my financial needs. Your prayers are helping me, protecting me, and providing for me during some very difficult struggles. Not one of you is giving too much or too little. And I know that the Lord delights in you for your hearts. It isn't about the money. Money is really empty and unsatisfying. It is what the Lord is doing within your hearts and in mine.

      Before the money came in today, last week I wrote the Psalm for our assignment. I loved it the day I wrote it, but today I sing it with a new praise. At the time I wrote it I started to enter the word 'me' in it, but I felt led to write 'us.' I realize now that this Psalm was never just for me. It's for you too!

      Will you join with me in praising the Lord for His unconditional and steadfast love?

(My five Psalms illustration sketches are at the right)

Psalm 47

           A Psalm of Praise 

 More than the value of silver,
      more than the weight of gold,
      more than the possession of precious stones,

Psalm 42

is Your love for us, O' my Lord!

Greater than the time we have,
      greater than the dreams we dream,
      greater than all the hopes of this world,
is Your love for us, O' my Lord!

Deeper than the oceans' depth,
      higher than the mountain's height,
      greater than the numbers of the stars,
is Your love for us, O' my Lord!

Psalm 3

The brilliance of the sun cannot compare
      to the light of Your glory!
The power of the moon
      which turns the ocean;
      that makes waves to rise,
      is not stronger
      than the mighty power of Your hand!
How great is Your love for us, O' my Lord!

We will forever praise the Name of the Lord!

Psalm 1

We will forever sing of His majesty and glory!
For the Lord God alone is worthy of praise!

Praised be the Name of the Lord forever,
      and may His children be a blessing unto Him.
May the light of the Lord shine ever before us
      and guide our steps according to His grace and mercy.

Praised be the Name of the Lord forever,
      and may His children reflect His glory!
                                                                                                                                                               Amen.

Psalm 133